We all have triggers that may nag us and make us act irrational or run out of control. However if not managed and eliminated all together, these can have negative effects on our lives, workplace, and relationships. No one knows us better than ourselves but most people don’t want to do the work.
If you can evaluate yourself, patterns, your environment, behavior and are willing to do the work or make the necessary adjustments, you can remove whatever piece of your life that you don’t want and replace it with that which is good and meaningful. We are architects of our lives after all.
This is life advice and shouldn’t substitute a professional therapist or psychologist but will give you pointers to get started. Generally emotions and behavior vary from individual to individual depending on;
- innate/ in born
Some people are naturally short tempered and can blow up off easily even at the slightest problem. This can happen for a short time and then they are back to normal however a few can remain angry for longer periods of time.
In such cases it’s always good to step back or move away from the environment, calm done, relax, evaluate the situation and act calmly based on facts not what you feel in the moment. Words and deeds once done cannot always be taken back. It’s always good to tact wise in order to avoid regrets.
- Environmental factors
We all come to this world innocent and clean. Like a brand new memory stick. However as we grow, we are loaded with data and learn from our environments. You learn to speak, behave and act in accordance to whatever region we are in in the world. According to what people around us are doing; norms, culture and customs.
Living in a toxic environment full of oppression, bitterness, unjust treatment can have negative effects on one’s mental health, psychology, wellbeing and general perception of people and life in general. A toxic narcissistic parent, spouse, or boss can push one to the edge. Bad company can also corrupt good people.
On the other hand life can get in the way and losses happen here and there and can make people depressed mentally and psychologically. This can be a job, spouse, parent, family, money, etc. It’s always great to be kind and understanding to those people and also for them to manage whatever they are going through and not put it out on other people. The environment plays a great role on one’s mental and emotional health
- Time spent in a toxic environment
Over a long period, continued response to negativity, trauma, toxic people and things can have almost irreparable effects on one. It is very possible to recover with therapy, rehab and removing yourself from environments and people that trigger or encourage bad emotional behavior and trauma.
These are the things you can do to avoid or control anxiety and emotional outbursts.
- Ignore and reply later
It’s not always a good thing to immediately act on our anger or triggers as in that moment things are foggy and we can’t see things clearly. Like troubled turbulent waters. When we allow some time, things can settle and we are able to act based on facts not feelings. Acting immediately on anger can result in bad things like saying hurtful words, hitting someone, sending your boss that email, impulsive purchases and behavior which can result in broken relationships, job losses, law suits, financial loses etc.
In everything it’s always good to act calmly basing on facts not feelings. Narcissistic, manipulative and evil people can know your triggers and set you up to fail in any area of your life that they are jealous or envious of. When you control yourself, you take away their power over you and continue to grow or evolve in life. When triggered its always best to completely ignore the trigger, not act on it or train your mind to visualize something else.
Also when someone asks you a probing question or does something that triggers you, you can ignore and ask them or talk about it later with them when you are in a clam state. Acting on your anger can ruin something great for you and the overall perception of people on you. People will forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel.
- Do your calmly thing
When you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions like anger, sadness or bitterness, you ca do your calmly thing to drive those emotions away and achieve emotional balance. This can be a hobby or an activity and it varies from person to person. It can be listening to music, drawing, going to the gym, dancing, gardening, zumba classes, swimming etc. Do anything that can put you in a calm and concentrated state to help you focus, make the right decisions and avoid situation or actions that can jeopardize important areas of your life like your career and relationships.
- Pause and reflect before answering
In the event that you have to make a quick response, you can pause for a few moments to recollect yourself before answering. You can also just take 5 before replying that email, divert the conversation to something else or ask questions about what was said or done to get clarity before responding. This all gets down to emotional maturity and self-control
- Practice self-control
Practice makes perfect. When you practice it, your brain and spirit will take that energy and demeanor so that when that coworker snaps at you, you look at them say something kind like you pray they have a happy day, smile and walk away instead of being triggered and matching their energy. This will make them look crazy and when you do it over and over they will lose their power over you. This is not to make you a doormat. You have to talk about and address whatever is facing you to live a great life. However it’s always important to discern the situation and act accordingly depending on what you are going through.
Wake up every day, look in the mirror and say to yourself that you aren’t going to lash back at that bitter coworker because you are only there for the pay check. Bad situations are temporary and life always get better. But we need great coping mechanisms to adapt and navigate life’s hurdles.
- Focus on only on what you can control
As human beings, we want to always be in control of every area of our lives and this causes great anxiety when things don’t go our way. However it’s great to allow for a little uncertainty. We all never know what tomorrow might bring but thing might just work out. Focus on what you are doing in the present moment, take things step by step. These repeated actions will compound over time and things will work out. It’s also important to note that you cannot change or control other people, what they say or what they do. We cannot force people to change. We can only change ourselves, what we do, how we react, and whether we want to be around such people and places or not. Choose what works for you and that is you. You can talk about it with them or do what you think is right to solve any issues but without change, you then decide whether to put up with it or to leave.
- Talk to your therapist, very trusted friend or relative.
When solving a situation, it’s always better to talk to someone who is entirely out of your circle or someone in your circle that you truly trust. Most damage is always done by people close to you and the information can always be used against you if things don’t go well especially on the job. An envious friend or relative can rat you out and with the internet things spread like wild fire on social media. You therefore want to talk to a therapist.
A professional or very experienced outside person can give you genuine advice on a topic since they might have no emotional attachment. Talking about things lifts them off your chest and gives you great relief compared to when things are all bottled up inside. Prolonged anger can cause people to have heightened emotions, burst and lash out to people over small things.
Always remember that a happy mind is a happy life. Mindset is everything. It dictates how we live.
If you found this content helpful please like, share and subscribe.
